How To Deal With Angry People.

There are so many snares the enemy will use to entrap us and put us in bondage. Our first thoughts when we hear the word; "snares," might be the big ones that are right in front of us like; alcohol, and excessive drinking, or drugs. We might think of gambling, or lying and stealing. But there is a snare that the enemy uses that, when you are in the middle of it, you still might not see you are ensnared. It is being close friends with, or associating with, someone who gets angry easily.

I tend to lean on the mercy and grace side with people and ignore others in this category. Not ignore them completely, but ignore their weakness of their anger. But through much experience dealing with people who have anger in them, I have found the best thing I can do is to be courteous and love all people, but to those that have a continuing cycle of anger and remorse, I never allow them to be a close friend of mine.

Daily Deals

You may say, "Isn't that rather harsh, Kris?" I can understand why you would say that as the Bible does tell us to "love our enemies" (Matthew 5:23). I am not talking about showing love, but embracing and associating with those that have a constant temper and a critical spirit all the time.

How To Deal With Angry People.

The Bible is very clear on what we should do with angry people.

Proverbs 22:4 - 25 (Amplified Bible)
"Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, lest you learn his ways and get yourself into a snare."

When I recently was reminded of this passage of scripture, I thought, "Wow, isn't that a little extreme?" But, if we don't protect ourselves from the snares of the enemy and really guard against them, we will fall into the snare of trying to help the angry person, and end up understanding their temper and even agreeing with the angry person. If we do this, we will believe a lie. We will start walking down a road that God never wanted us to walk down in the first place. The enemy is crafty and will use your need to help someone to get you to fall.

The Strongs Hebrew and Greek dictionary gives a definition of the word, "friendship," in the above passage this way: "raw-aw', A primitive root; to tend a flock, that is, pasture it; intransitively to graze (literally or figuratively); generally to rule; by extension to associate with (as a friend): companion, keep company with, feed, use as a friend, make friendship with, herdman, keep [sheep] (-er), pastor, + shearing house, and shepherd." We are to keep no company with, to tend a friendship, eat with, associate with, or tend no one that is always angry. God will take care of that person; your job is to show love, but hold back on being their friend.

Maybe you have someone in your life that falls into this category of being a person of anger. If you are married to someone who is constantly angry, the main thing is to be safe. If you are always afraid of your safety, or your children's safety, this is an indicator that you should do something about it. There are many "safe" houses to go to, or friends you can ask for help. But this article is really for those who have someone in their life who they don't live with, yet are always associating with. Angry people are draining. They will drain your joy. They will drain your patience, not to mention your peace. It is okay to pull away from them as a friend, but still love them and wish the best for them. Really, it is a command in Proverbs to make no friendship with them.

I know of someone in my life, as their leader, who is always angry. They are never satisfied with people. They always find something to complain about and even get down right evil and rude with their actions in order to state their case, or make a point. I've watched this person's anger rise and fall through many cycles, of remorse (not repentance), then putting a fake smile on, and then getting angry again. As of lately their anger and actions have been the worse I've ever seen in them. This person needs deliverance, but they do not see it. Until they are delivered and set free from this bondage in their life, they will continue to go through this cycle. My prayer is that they will see their actions and their way of thinking is getting them no where. They are doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results and it will never happen. I am waiting for the right time to calmly share with them the hope of freedom from this torment, but in the meantime, I do not befriend them.

Let us be people that are easy to get along with. Do you have an anger problem? Do you easily get upset when things don't go your way? Do you expect people to cater to you? Usually there is a root cause for the anger. If you have an anger problem, ask God what is the root of it. This is a hard place to be because you have to be honest with God, and even more challenging, yourself. Once you have asked God to show you the core of your anger, be open to what that still small voice speaks to your heart. When you receive your answer, ask God to heal you, and to change your way of thinking. This is a process, but well worth the change that will come. It might be painful. Are you willing to press in to your pain to find out more about yourself? The Lord will never leave you during this process. He will never leave you ever. So, be comforted that you will be in the arms of a loving God who knows all about you. He formed you. He knows your name.

Here are a few more scriptures about getting angry:

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (Amplified Bible)
"Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools."

James 1:19 & 29 (Amplified Bible)
"Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]."

Ephesians 4:31 & 32 (Amplified Bible)
"Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind). And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you."

These are just a few verses concerning anger. I am sure if you did a study on the word you would find out more then you could ever imagine. Allow God to show you any anger you might be holding onto. The very thing you hold on to will become a part of you before you know it.

Blessings,

Kris Belfils

http://www.krisbelfils.com

How To Deal With Angry People.

Kristine (Kris) A. Belfils is the author of the book ,“The Garbage Man Always Comes on Fridays” http://krisbelfils.com She is a dynamic public speaker, Singer/Songwriter, Worship Leader and Licensed Minister. Kris is also the Bible study Director/Editor for SistersInTheLord.org, and a free-lance writer for various websites and newsletters. She is a Songwriter/Recording Artist with numerous music projects including A Righteous Life, Seasons of Change, and Brokenness. She has served as Worship Leader, Minister of Music, and Associate Pastor for various churches in the Pacific Northwest. She ministers under a prophetic anointing. Kris, and her husband Ron, live in Washington State, and are raising two beautiful daughters.

watch cell phone Save Save On La Mer The Powder 03 Beige Best Buy Oe Replacement Cadillac Srx Driver Side

People Skills: Eight Essential People Skills

Being able to communicate effectively with others requires people skills, and here's eight essential ones:

1. Understanding people

Daily Deals

People not only come in all shapes and sizes, but they come with different personality types as well. You may want to brush up on how to communicate with the four main personality types by reading this article. Indeed, dedicated students of communication could do little better than purchase Bem Allen's excellent introduction to personality types, 'Personality Theories'.

People Skills: Eight Essential People Skills

People are individuals, with as many similarities from one person to the next as differences. To communicate most effectively, each will require you to communicate with them in their own individual preference style, using their language, their body gestures, and their pace and intonation.

So how do you find out how best to communicate with someone? Spend time with them! Don't expect to meet someone off the street and talk intimately with them within a minute. Understanding a subject takes time -- whether that subject is an academic one or another human being.

2. Expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly

Our brains can only take so much information in at any one time. We are bombarded with messages every second of the day, so to compete with the barrage of 'noise' a person faces, your message needs to be clear, succinct and to the point.

It is very worthwhile taking time to plan your communication -- no matter by what method it is delivered -- to ensure that you are taking the least amount of time to express the right level of thought in the most receptively simple manner.

3. Speaking up when your needs are not being met

Just as important in business relationships as in domestic ones, speaking up to ensure that your needs are met is a fundamental part of any relationship.

You may wish to read this article on assertive, not aggressive, communication, but in a nutshell there are six different ways you can be assertive and not aggressive in your communication: by rehearsing your behaviour prior to the communication; by repeating your communication (the 'broken record' technique); fogging; asking for negative feedback; tentative agreement with negative feedback; and creating a workable compromise.

Assertiveness is a useful communication tool. It's application is contextual and it's not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Remember, your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.

4. Asking for feedback from others and giving quality feedback in return

Alongside assertiveness techniques, the giving and receiving of feedback is a key communication skill that must be learnt if you want to have any hope of developing long-term business relationships..

Toastmasters International teach a useful feedback and critical review technique -- first give a sincere compliment, follow this with any practical suggestions for improvement, then wrap up with further sincere praise. It is known as 'CRC', or 'Commend, Recommend, Commend', a three-step model for excellence in giving quality feedback.

Remember, too, that truthfulness is a subjective view. What you may find distasteful in someone may be equally desirable from another's point of view. As I learnt, by living through a series of IRA atrocities in England and watching the US political and media reactions, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

5. Influencing how others think and act

We all have the opportunity to influence how others think and act. All the way from Cialdini's Persuasion principles down to simple violence (of a verbal or physical nature), we are daily able to shape the thoughts and actions of those around us.

From something as simple as smiling and saying, "Hello!" as a way of influencing someone's mood, to leading by example during an intense period of change, there are many ways of either leading to or drawing out of others required behaviours and attitudes.

Remember that an attitude leads to an emotion, which in turn leads to an action. Shape the attitudes and you have a more reliable way of predicting actions.

6. Bringing conflicts to the surface and getting them resolved

I confess: I'm not a 'natural' at handling conflict. It's taken marrying into an existing family of three children to help this only child come to terms with conflict.

It's taken me three years of living in my family to realise it's possible to co-exist in conflict and not get personally involved. But it wasn't an easy lesson to learn, I can tell you!

But being a step-father to teenage children has helped me learn the importance of bringing conflicts and resentments to the surface where they can be more easily managed.

Your employees might be harbouring secret resentments of you, and unless you find out what they are, bring these 'dark secrets' out into the light of day, you are never going to be able to successfully deal with them.

It's embarrassing, potentially humiliating and requires a strong level of patience not to launch straight into a defensive mode, but giving people the opportunity to express their concerns, disappointments and anger, face-to-face, gives you tremendous opportunity to put things right, or help them see where their thoughts and feelings are misplaced.

7. Collaborating with others instead of doing things by yourself

I'm a shocker at this, but learning to delegate and share has been instrumental in growing my own business.

The quickest way of burying yourself in excess detail and workload is to try and do everything yourself. Yet sharing the workload can be the smartest thing you will ever do. Here's why:

'Leverage'.

Leverage is taking your skills and abilities and allowing others to magnify your work capacity. You train them to do what you do and you do something else.

One bricklayer can only lay a certain number of bricks in an hour, but that same bricklayer can train 15 mates to lay bricks and suddenly those 15 bricklayers are building monuments while the first bricklayer is out securing more work for them.

While the 15 are laying bricks, the original bricklayer can be learning how to perform advanced bricklaying, or learn sales strategies, or learn supervision skills.

The lesson is simple: try and do it all yourself and the 'all' will bury you; teach others to do what you do and you build a monument.

Jesus taught 11 men how to do what he did. Then he left them to carry on while he moved on to other things. From the simple act of one man teaching 11 others, a church and the largest, most influential religious movement the world has ever known was born.

8. Shifting gears when relationships are unproductive

Sometimes you need to walk away. Sometimes you need to jettison unhealthy cargo. And sometimes you need to take drastic steps to regain balance and momentum.

'Shifting gears' can be as simple as changing the venue of your supervision meeting from a dark office to a nearby cafe. Sometimes it can be moving the meeting from straight after lunch to first thing next morning, when clearer heads might prevail.

Sometimes it can mean increasing the level of assertiveness in order to ensure the point you are making is being received. Sometimes it might mean bringing others into the meeting so that the other person understands the implications of their attitudes or actions.

And sometimes it can mean helping them find a more meaningful and satisfying role outside of your sphere of influence.

As a management psychologist I clearly remember one organisation I consulted to: the only way out of a staff impasse was to remove the impediments to progress. Which meant helping key protagonists find new work outside of the organisation. Sometimes culture change can only be effected in a quick way by bringing in an entire new team and throwing away the dead wood. But only as a last resort.

Conclusion

The whole idea of being people skilled is knowing or finding how to bring out the best in others in any situation, rather than their worst. By mastering these eight essential people skills you dramatically increase your chances of achieving the best outcomes out of your interactions and business challenges.

People Skills: Eight Essential People Skills

When you match consumer psychology with effective communication styles you get a powerful combination. Lee Hopkins can show you how to communicate better for better business results. At Hopkins-Business-Communication-Training.com you can find the secrets to communication success.

watch cell phone Best Buy Virginia Tech University Car Magnet Large